Sunday, October 5, 2008

How to not get a major ticket from a state trooper and other worldly advice...

With enough wine knowledge to write a guidebook about the Yakima Valley & Columbia Valley, I departed from my beloved Tri-Cities on Wednesday morning. I dropped El Glinerifico off at work and said my final goodbyes. Upon my departure, I was blessed with a bottle of our finest high end single vineyard Reisling. Perhaps I will save this gift for my wedding or funeral, whichever comes first.

Along the drive I encountered many wonderful radio stations that made me further my appreciation for this wonderful medium...A special thanks to 98.3 The Key FM (Tri-Cities Washington), 89.9 Classical (Portland, Oregon), and the unnamed Southern Oregon classic rock station and the Bay Area oldies station that Ashley Steinberg insisted I turn off because it was "annoying"...


The I-5 is not a fun road to drive on because of the plethora of 18-wheelers that populate this two-lane inland route that runs from Canada to Mexico. As a non-truck driver, one needs to stay in the left lane because every five seconds another slow truck crawls along in the right lane...As it was completely dark by 8:48PM, the roads were becoming more and more treacherous at 75 miles per hour. This is due to sharp curves through the mountains and a seemingly endless amount of on-again off-again highway repairs. At one point, I made a brief appearance in the right lane (I was being tailgated) just as a huge truck entered the highway and seemed like he was going to enter right into my car, so I quickly maneuvered (read: swerved) into the left lane. Two seconds after unleashing my inner Andretti I was pulled over by an Oregon State Trooper. Certainly my out of state plates weren't going to be of much help in this situation...

Trooper Man came over to my window and asked me if I knew what I did wrong. Though Gliner has trained me well to answer "I didn't do anything wrong," Trooper Man said that I swerved. I quickly explained to him the multitude of factors that led to my potential swerve: "Sir, the glare is terrible from the lights in the surrounding town so I just removed my glasses. (At this point I reached to my passenger seat and picked up my glasses.) There was also a large truck that recklessly entered the highway. These roads are particularly dark and windy, and I am unfamiliar with them as I am returning to California from Washington and took the coastal route on my drive North. And last but not least, these construction signs that turn the I-5 into a one-lane road at a moments notice are poorly placed and create extremely dangerous traffic patterns."

He ran my plates and license number, and tacitly agreed with my explaination...and within a few minutes I was back on the closed.

Back in LA, back to reality. Unemployment (for the most part) is facilitating tons of vegetation and contemplation...Besides an obligatory trip to Trader Joes and a visit to a dive bar to say hey to a friend who was in town, I haven't left the house. I'm trying to figure out my life, ASAP.

It rained yesterday, which for LA is rare, and I found it extremely pleasant.

I've done an interest inventory:

Likes: Adventure, food, writing, reading, sleeping, sex, smart television, indy movies, and the Internet.

Dislikes: More of the same, monotony, lack of adventure, "day in day out" mentalities, repetition, terrible people, wannabes, ostentatious individuals, insecurity, bullshit artists.

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